Doofy the Platypus
by darkdemondog24
Summary: Doofenshmirtz turns himself into...a platypus? And shows up at Perry's door? What sort of wild antics could these two get themselves into now? NOT DoofxPerry, this is a frenemy story.
1. Chapter 1

A Phineas and Ferb fanfiction. I own nothing except Doofenshmirtz as a platypus in my style. NOT DoofxPerry. Enjoy!

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It was a dark, gloomy, stormy summer day in the town of Danville. It was pouring outside most of the day, but the constant thunderstorms eventually settled into small, mild showers. Phineas and Ferb couldn't do much on this rainy day, so they were up in their rooms taking to their friends online and sketching out ideas of what they would do tomorrow. Candace was in her room as well, yapping on her phone to Stacy. (but she did that every day, rainy or not.) Linda and Lawrence were lazily watching TV in the living room.

Perry was joyful on this gloomy day. He was happy because Major Monogram had informed him that his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, wasn't up to anything today, and he finally had a day off to himself. The platypus took this time he had off to get some well needed rest, since he had been putting in a lot of extra hours to fight Doofenshmirtz lately. He got himself snuggled up in his warm little fluffy platypus bed, and laid his head down to take a nap. He was just about to close his eyes and drift off too, when there was a sudden knock at the door that jolted him back awake.

Phineas and Ferb eagerly ran to answer the door, and were surprised by what they saw. There on their doorstep lied a little platypus about the same size as Perry. He had turquoise fur, just like their pet, but it was darker and a little scruffier. He also had a few strands of hair sticking out of the top of his head, like Perry had, except they were chestnut brown instead of black. The platypus looked up at them with big dark blue eyes, which had deep circles underneath them, like he hadn't slept in a while. The platypus also seemed to be slouching slightly.

Phineas picked him up and held him. "Ah, poor little guy. How'd you get abandoned out here?" he said, caressing the platypus as if it was his own pet. Ferb pointed to the ground outside their door where the platypus was found, and there was a note. Phineas read it:

_"Dear who ever may read this,_

I am the owner of this platypus, and I no longer wish to keep him anymore. I noticed two boys come in and out of this house and walk their platypus everyday, so I figured this family must know a thing or two about owning one. I was going to take him to the pound but I figured I should take him directly to a good home instead. Oh, the platypus's name is…uh…Doofy. Please take good care of him.

-Anonymous"

"Wow Ferb! Do you know what this means?" Phineas said gleefully. "We can give Perry another little playmate! Won't that be cute?"

Phineas held the new platypus close and gave him a big hug, which he didn't seem to like too much. Phineas walked over to Perry's bed, where the platypus was lying awake curious as to what was going on.

"Hey Perry!" Phineas said to his pet. "Someone left us another platypus! That means you're gonna have your own little playmate!"

Phineas set the dark-furred platypus down, and the two semi-aquatic mammals stared at each other. Perry thought the platypus looked almost, familiar. His chestnut-brown hair, the dark circles under his eyes, and that slouch. But the thing that struck Perry with the most curiosity was his big, wild dark blue eyes, which had just the slightest gleam of interest in Perry as he stared back.

"His name's Doofy!" Phineas said. "I'm sure you two will become the best of friends!" the red head said as he and his brother left the room.

_Doofy._ Perry thought. And then it hit him. Perry's eyes grew wide. But before he had a chance to react, the new platypus started talking. Well, chattering, but Perry could understand him.

"Wow! That was easier then I thought! Who knew those kids would fall for a platypus so easily. I didn't even have to whimper like a helpless animal and they still took me in as their pet!" he said in the high-pitched German accent Perry would recognize anywhere.  
Perry was too shocked to respond. Why in the world was Doofenshmirtz in his house, and more importantly why the heck was he a platypus? Perry just stared, for he didn't know what to say.

"Oh, hi!" Doof greeted him. "You must be their other pet platypus, huh? Well, my name's Doofy. Didn't that kid say your name was…Perry? That is so weird, I have a nemesis named Perry, and he looks an awful lot like you!"

Perry still didn't speak.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Doof said suspiciously.

"S-sorry." Perry said, which to anyone else would have sounded like a random chirping sound, but the platypuses could understand each other. "I'm just not used to other platypuses…" Perry lied quickly.

"Well, between you and me, I'm not actually a platypus…" Doof said kind of sheepishly. "I'm an evil scientist, but I turned myself into a platypus. It was an accident, really. Allow me to explain. Earlier today, I was trying to make a machine that would make me understand platypus, so I could finally understand what my nemesis was saying. So naturally, I built it, and naturally it worked! Well, sort of. I woke up realizing that I could understand platypus, because it turned out I was a platypus! I was going to just hit the reverse switch, when it came to me that I could use this to my advantage! Instead of learning what my nemesis was saying, I could learn to live like a platypus, and hopefully find any of his potential weaknesses! And I always see you're owners walking you around Danville so I followed them home so that I could learn to be a platypus like you!"

Doof paused to laugh diabolically to himself. "So, what do you think?" he asked, turning back to Perry. "Pretty evil plan, huh?"

Perry didn't answer. He was still a little shocked, but at the same time very relieved that his nemesis was too stupid to realize that he was the very same Perry the Platypus that was his enemy. Perry was worried for Phineas and Ferb's safety since his worst enemy was in the same house as them, and if Doof figured out that Perry was his nemesis, there's no telling what he could do to harm his family. So Perry decided not to reveal his identity to his nemesis yet.

Perry suddenly came out of his thoughts when he realized Doof was staring at him. "You really remind me a lot of my nemesis you know…" he said, almost suspiciously.

Perry thought quick, and tried to say something that would lead Doof away from finding the truth. "So, uh, Doofy. Tell me, what's your nemesis like?" he asked nervously.

Doof suddenly looked pleased. "Oh what a great question! I'll tell you all about him! Well, he's a very strong, very sophisticated, macho secret agent. He fights me time and time again, and I find myself losing to him time and time again, since he is a lot stronger and faster than me. I'll admit, I have to give him respect for that."

Perry couldn't help smirking.

"But you know, even though he's been my nemesis for years, I feel…I feel…" he said, not really wanting to confess to what he was about to say.

Perry found himself a little curious to what his nemesis thought of him, and tried to get him to continue. "What? What do you feel?" he asked.

"I don't really want to tell you." Doof said. "It's a little embarrassing…"

"I won't tell anyone! I swear! Please tell me!" Perry pleaded.

"OK, I feel like I can't hate him. There I said it." He declared unwillingly. "It's like he's my best friend at times, and we kind of awkwardly crept by through the years with a 'frenemy' relationship, but I always secretly wanted more than that. I mean, he is kinda cute for a platypus, and he was always really nice to me. He listened to my back stories everyday, and even helped me sometimes. I kind of wish we could just forget all this enemy stuff, and just be best friends…" he said.

Perry was speechless.

"Yeah, pretty corny, huh…" Doof said, blushing and looking down at his toes in embarrassment.

A warm smile spread across Perry's face. "I don't think it's corny. I actually think it's kind of sweet the way you feel about me—erm, I mean your nemesis."

Doof sighed. "Yeah, well that's more than I can say for him. If I told my nemesis that he'd laugh in my face and think I'm a complete idiot, and a softy." He said, hanging his head.

Perry was surprised his nemesis would think about him that way. Perry would never laugh in his face, he even sort of liked the idea of them just being friends. They had been frenemies for years, haven't they? Why would dropping the enemy stuff be a bad thing? Perry looked at Doof, and almost caved. He needed to keep his identity a secret from the doctor for the safety of his owners, but he wanted his frenemy to know that he really didn't hate him either.

But then, Perry took a deep breath, and got up on his hind legs. He put on his fedora, and waited for Doof's reaction. It wasn't pretty.

"P-P-P-PERRY THE PLATYPUS?" he screamed, jumping up on his own hind legs in alarm. Suddenly, the doctor's cheeks turned bright red, and he looked completely humiliated. "Perry, why didn't you tell me it was you before I said all those embarrassing things?" he said, hiding his head in shame.

Perry smirked. He couldn't help it. He just loved seeing his nemesis so embarrassed! Perry tried to hide his snickering, and his face turned serious again. "Doof, you don't have to be embarrassed because you don't hate me! I feel the exact same way!" he admitted, cautiously putting a hand on the evil scientist's shoulder.

"Really? You really don't mind us being…friends…sometimes?" he said.

"Course not! We've been frenemies for so long, I've really come to like you too!" Perry said, smiling.

Doof sniffed back a tear. "Awww, thank you Perry the Platypus!" he said gratefully.

"OK," Perry said calmly. "Now that that's settled…CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE HELL YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE?" he said, grabbing Doof by the arm and speaking right into his face.

"I already told you! It was an accident! I didn't know that you were the platypus that lived here!" Doof scolded back.

"Well, I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" Perry said. "I don't trust you around my family!"

Doof looked confused. "Wait, your family? That's what you're concerned about? I have no intentions to harm them! I'm not that evil! And do you have trouble hearing me or something? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIVED HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" he shouted.

Perry growled. "Well you can't stay here! So leave!" he said.

"Oh, come on Perry. I'm just getting used to this. I actually kind of like being a platypus. Can't I just stay here a while? Please? I won't be a bother, and I promise I won't do anything evil!" he pleaded.

Perry still glared at him, arms crossed. He raised and eyebrow. "Ugh! Fine! But you are so going to owe me one after this!" Perry said, apparently annoyed.

"Yay! Really? Oh thank you Perry! If you let me stay here for a week, I'll forget about evil for a week so you can have a lot more time off. Deal?" he bargained eagerly. Perry didn't budge.

"Oh come on! I'm giving you the bargain end of the deal here! If I'm a platypus one week, and I'm not doing anything evil the next week, that gives you two weeks off!" he said.

"Yeah, but I have to spend one of those weeks living with you!" Perry muttered.

Doof gave Perry a big, pleading stare, and Perry caved in.

"Well, alright." Perry said, shaking his hand. "As a friend, I'll let you stay here, but only for a week."

Doof smiled in return. For some reason, he liked the idea of spending a whole week living with his nemesis/best friend. Perry was actually being awful nice to let him stay.

"Dinner's ready!" called Linda from the other room. Phineas and Ferb came running down the stairs, with Candace following after. Everyone sat down at the table and started eating.

Doof and Perry got back on all fours and walked into the room. Candace took notice of the new platypus instantly. "Eww! Since when do we have two smelly stupid ugly platypuses in the house!" she said, holding her nose.

Doof glared at her. "Wow, she's real nice, huh?" he said sarcastically to Perry, who rolled his eyes in response. "Eh, you learn to live with her…" he said.

"Phineas, Ferb, where did this other platypus come from?" Linda asked her two sons.

"We found him on the doorstep outside! There was a note that said who ever left him here wanted to find him a good home. Can we keep him mom?" Phineas said enthusiastically.

"Well, it would be nice for Perry to have a little friend…" Linda said, pondering the idea of two family pets. Perry and Doofenshmirtz exchanged glances at the word 'friend'. "OK. You guys can keep him!" she said.

Perry growled a little. He was actually kind of hoping Doof wouldn't be able to stay and live with them. Phineas and Ferb shouted gleefully, and Candace rolled her eyes. "Ugh! How did I get born into this family! Their platypuses! Stupid, smelly animals that don't even have brains enough to understand that no one loves them! Why should we even consider getting another one?" she scolded. Doof and Perry simultaneously gave Candace a death glare.

"Candace, you have to admit, for an animal that doesn't do much, they are pretty cute." Phineas said.

Candace pondered that for a moment. "Well, he is cuter than Perry…" she said, looking down at Doofenshmirtz with less disgust this time.

Doof got a smug look on his face and stuck his tongue out at Perry, who growled and rolled his eyes in return.

"So what are you boys thinking of naming him?" Lawrence asked.

"Oh, he already came with a name." Phineas said. "The note said his name's Doofy!"

"Well that's a peculiar name." Lawrence said.

Then Phineas suddenly remembered something. He got up, and started rummaging through one of the cabinets. He took out another food bowl and a marker, and he scribbled 'DOOFY' on the food bowl. The red head laid it down next to Perry's food bowl and filled them both up with platypus food. Perry started eating, but Doof looked at the food suspiciously.

"Uh…what is this stuff?" Doof asked.

"Oh, don't be a big coward and just eat it!" Perry said to his reluctant nemesis.

Doof warily started eating the food, and when he realized how hungry he had gotten his began chowing down more enthusiastically.

"Wow, this is isn't half bad! What's in this platypus food anyway?" he asked.

"Bug larvae and worms." Perry announced. Doof suddenly didn't look too appetized anymore. In fact, he looked like he was going to be sick. And he was. The sickened platypus threw up all over the floor. Linda immediately scolded him and picked him up. She threw him outside in the backyard and went back to the kitchen to clean up the mess.

Perry nearly choked on his dinner laughing so hard. Doof just scowled at his nemesis through the glass door, and gave him a look that said 'I'm not laughing'.

After dinner, the kids went up to their rooms to go to bed. Perry followed the boys into their room, and was about to sleep in one of their beds as usual, but he was surprised when Phineas picked him up and placed him in his platypus bed instead of his own bed. "Here, boy. You should sleep down here with your new friend tonight." He suggested. Phineas and Ferb crawled into their beds and said goodnight, then shut off the lights and went to sleep.

Perry was a little mad that Phineas was making him sleep on the floor in his bed. He was much more used to sleeping next to one of his owners. He remembered the time he had slept in his nemesis's arms once, when he had passed out at D.E.I., and he had felt just as at ease as if he was sleeping with one of his owners. But would it be the same sleeping so close to his nemesis, now that he was a platypus? He looked at Doof, who was giving Perry an insistent glance from a few feet away.

"Look, it's awkward enough having you living with me in the same house," Perry said. "It would be even more awkward if you were to sleep in the same bed as me, too."

"But you slept in my arms before," Doof reminded him. "How is this any different?"

"Because, you're not a human anymore! It would be too…uncomfortable if we were sleeping in the same bed like this." Perry admitted.

"Perry, can't you just drop all this nemesis stuff for one day? I'm your best friend!" he begged.

"No." Perry said, and Doof could tell that was his final answer.

Perry got comfortable in his bed, and Doof tried to rest comfortably on the floor a few feet away. Doof sighed. He tossed and turned around, but just couldn't get cozy enough to fall asleep. It was kind of weird to be in his enemy's house right now, and it was even weirder since it was his first night as a platypus. Doof rested his head on his paws, and closed his eyes, desperately trying to get some shut-eye. But a sudden clap of thunder from outside startled him, and he was instantly wide awake again.

"Perry…" he whispered nervously.

Perry moaned sleepily and just turned over. "For God sakes, just go to sleep Doof…" he muttered.

Doof tried to get comfy again, but a freezing draft was making him shiver. He felt his teeth chatter, and he suddenly wanted to be in Perry's warm, fluffy bed. He whimpered loud enough for Perry to hear, which woke his annoyed nemesis up.

"Ugh! For an evil scientist you are such a crybaby!" Perry scolded him, apparently irritated. But Doof whimpered again, and Perry gave up. "Fine, you can sleep in my bed. But only if you give me my personal…"

Before Perry had a chance to finish his sentence, Doofenshmirtz zipped across the room and snuggled into Perry's bed.

"Space…" Perry finished with an aggravated sigh.

"Oh, sorry. I could go back on the floor if you want me too…" Doof said, sheepishly backing up.

"No, no! It's fine!" Perry said, not wanting to feel like he was being rude to his guest. "I don't mind, really. Goodnight, Doof." Perry said almost a little cautiously. It was still a little weird for him to get used to his nemesis being there. Nemesis. Why did he keep thinking of him like that? When there wasn't notorious schemes and epic battles between good and evil involved, they were friends. That's what being frenemies meant, sometimes they were friends and sometimes they were enemies. And this was one of those friend times. Perry recollected his thoughts, and tried to picture Doof as his best friend. He didn't want to keep having these awkward moments while Doof stayed over.

Then Perry noticed that Doof was tossing and turning again. A rumbling sound vibrated from his bill, and he seemed frustrated about it.

"Ugh, what is this weird noise I keep making!" he said, trying to muffle the sound by covering his bill with both paws.

"Relax Doof." Perry reassured him. "You're just purring."

"Well, why am I purring?" Doof asked curiously.

"I don't know! It means you're happy about something." Perry said, trying to fall back asleep.

Doof pondered what would possibly be making him happy right then, but he realized it was his nemesis. He vaguely recalled Perry purring when he was in his arms after he had passed out at D.E.I. It was a sign of affection, but did he really have affection for his nemesis of all people? The doctor realized he did, as he had admitted it himself earlier. But was it really right to love his nemesis as a friend? All the other enemies are just out to hate each other, but over the years Perry and Doof had formed a more special bond than that. They helped each other, listened to each other, and even missed each other when they were separated. Heck, if it wasn't for Doof being evil and Perry being good, they would be best friends. And they kind of already were. That was why Doof was purring, he was happy to have such a great best friend. On that joyful thought, the evil semi-aquatic scientist laid his head on his paws and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight Perry the Platypus." He whispered, but Perry was already asleep. And then he was too.


	2. Chapter 2

Golden sunlight streamed through the windows the next morning, waking up Phineas and Ferb. They both stretched and jumped out of bed, ready to get started on their latest project, but Phineas stopped when he noticed the two platypuses sleeping in Perry's bed.

Doof and Perry were curled up next to each other, purring slightly from their beaks. Phineas thought it was the most adorable thing he ever seen. "Aww, Ferb look!" he said. "Look's like Perry found himself a best friend!" Perry and Doof woke up simultaneously, blinking their eyes a few times to adjust to the new light. They were both caught by surprise when the noticed Phineas staring at them and smiling, until they realized why. Both platypuses scrambled away from each other, their faces flushing bright red when they noticed how close they were sleeping. They knew that they would eventually get used to the idea of living together, but they were still a little edgy about having such close contact.

Phineas laughed at their reaction, and he and Ferb went downstairs for breakfast. Once the platypuses recollected themselves, they followed the boys.

"I bet you can't wait for breakfast," Perry teased. "Considering how much you _loved_ the food last night, huh?" Perry snickered, but Doofenshmirtz wasn't pleased.

"Oh, hardy har har, very funny!" Doof said angrily. "You know, I was going to say I was sorry for you since you have to put up with eating that stuff, but now I take it back if you're just going to be a jerk about it!" he said.

"You know, I think I liked you better as a human. You were a lot less annoying as an evil scientist." Perry said.

"Well I liked you better when I couldn't understand what you were saying!" Doof said. "You insulted me a lot less!"

"As far as you know." Perry said, chucking to himself again.

They went downstairs and ate breakfast. (Doof just barely holding it down the whole time) After they ate, Phineas and Ferb went straight out to the backyard to work on their latest project, and Candace went upstairs to her room to chat on her cell phone. Perry and Doofenshmirtz went upstairs, not completely sure what they were going to do.

"What do you usually do to keep yourself occupied around here?" Doof asked.

Perry thought for a moment. "Head over to D.E.I. and foil your plans." He said.

Doof let out a bored sigh. "Anything else?" he asked impatiently.

Perry was about to answer when Candace came out of her room, talking on her cell phone. Perry instantly got a far-away look in his eyes and tried to look like a mindless animal. His nemesis just looked up at the teenager curiously.

Candace hung up her phone and looked down at them. "Well, if it isn't the freaky little mindless circus animal of the house." She said, glaring at Perry. Then she looked at Doof. "Well, I am kinda bored. Maybe I can use you for something!" She announced, picking Doof up and taking him into her room. Perry tried to follow, but she pushed him away with her foot. "Eww, as if I would let you inside my room! Who knows, maybe this little guy still has hope to be an interesting pet before your ugly-dullness spreads to him!" she scolded him and slammed her door shut.

Perry waited outside her door anxiously, and listened. All he heard on the other side of the door was the swooshing of fabric, and Candace humming to herself. But suddenly Doof started screaming in terror, and Perry was worried of what horrible torture she could be doing to his nemesis! He tried to pry open the door, but she had locked it. He thought he would have to keep his family safe from the likes of his nemesis, not the other way around. Perry gave up on opening the door and listened nervously to the shrieks on the other side.

Then, the door opened abruptly, and Doof came out all out of breath and shaking in fear. But that's not what first caught Perry's eye. Doof was wearing a big, pink, frilly, platypus-sized dress! Not only that, but he had a matching pink bow on his head, and makeup smeared all over his face. Perry was literally rolling on the floor laughing! Doof would usually scold him, but he was too busy shaking and hugging his tail, whispering in fear: "S-so…m-much…p-p-pink!" That just got Perry laughing harder, but they both shut up when Candace opened the door. She had another small dress in her hand, which was lavender purple, and apparently meant for Perry.

"Hey, Perry!" she said in a sing-songy voice. "I still have one more dress left if you two want to match today…"

But the platypuses were already long gone, Doof's outfit ditched on the floor by her feet. They bolted all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, until they were sure she didn't follow. They stopped to catch their breath, and Doof desperately rubbed the eye-liner and lipstick off his face.

"Wow, how do you live with her?" Doof said between panting. "I may not understand my teenage daughter much, but at least her room doesn't look like a unicorn threw up all over it!"

"Live with her? She barely touches me! I'd rather keep it that way, it's better to be 'the disgusting animal of the house' then her little dress up doll!" Perry said frantically.

"Are you saying that she only wanted to put me in a dress?" Doof asked. "And she pretty much just acts like you're some kind of disease-written freak?"

"Yep." Perry said.  
Doof got an evil smirk on his face. "Well, looks like we both need to get even with her!" he said, laughing manically.

"Get even?" Perry said with a puzzled look on his face.

"Yeah! You know, like get revenge!" Doof said.

Perry just stared.

"Wait, you've never gotten revenge on anyone?" Doof asked.

"No."

"Wow, you really are a goody two-shoes, aren't you?" Doof said. "Come on! I'll teach you how to get payback! It's loads of fun, and it makes you feel so much better about yourself!"

Perry was hesitant for a moment, but agreed. It did sound like fun, and he was a little mad at Candace for avoiding him all his life. He listened to Doof, who started giving him his first lesson in revenge. "OK, first we need to find her weak point. What do you now that really makes her embarrassed?" he asked.

Perry thought for a moment. "Well, she's always trying to get Phineas and Ferb in trouble with her mom…" he said.

"Oh! That's perfect! If she's always trying to bust her brothers, than it would really tick her off if she was the one who got in trouble, huh?" Doof suggested.

"Wow! That's brilliant! How did you think that up so fast?" Perry asked.

"Years of practice my friend." Doof said proudly.

"Now, we'll need to find out how to get her in trouble. Maybe, if she broke something. Yeah! That's the classic way to get someone in trouble with their parents. Frame them for breaking something. Or maybe, just maybe, we could actually get her to break something! Yeah! That works! OK, we'll need a thin, clear piece of rope and a perfect spot to trip her." Doof rambled on.

Perry was astonished at how fast his nemesis thought of all that. He went through a closet and grabbed the rope they needed, and they both headed upstairs to set up. They each grabbed one end of the rope and set it up in front of the stairs. Candace was walking out of her room and towards the stair case.

"Now? Do we pull it now?" Perry asked, eagerness in his tone.

"Not yet. We have to wait for the perfect moment for maximum embarrassment from the target." Doof told him expertly.

Perry really wanted to pull the rope, but listened to his nemesis/mentor and didn't. Candace walked harmlessly over their trip wire without even noticing they were there and went down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Come on Doof! That was our chance! You made us miss it!" Perry said crossly.

Doof just smiled. "Ah, you have much to learn about evil, Perry." He said smugly.

Just then, they heard Linda calling Candace back upstairs to her bed room. "Candace! I need you to come up here and carry this vase downstairs!" She yelled down.

"Coming mom!" Candace called back, running back up to her mom's bedroom. She came back out carrying a big, heavy, breakable-looking glass vase, and was heading towards the stairs. Luckily for them, the vase was blocking her view, and she couldn't see the two platypuses or the rope as she headed their way.

"Now! Pull it now!" Doofenshmirtz ordered, and they both pulled the trip wire just in time for Candace to catch her foot on it. She lost her balance and tumbled down the stairs. Perry was reluctant to hurt her, so he had put a pile of laundry at the bottom so she landed safely, but that's more than they could say for the vase. It soared through the air and smashed to the ground, shattering into a million little glass crystals on the floor.

Perry was giggling, but Doof wasn't laughing yet. "Wait for it…" he ordered Perry. A moment later, Linda was at the top of the stairs, and both platypuses hid the rope and did their best to look innocent. It didn't matter, Linda wasn't paying any attention to them anyway. She was staring down at her teenage daughter, who trying to scoop up what was left of the fragile vase.

"Candace! What happened?" she shrieked, running down the stairs to examine the mess.

"I-I, uh…tripped! And I fell! And the vase! It broke! I didn't mean it!' Candace said in a rush to explain everything.

"That vase was a one of a kind collectible! I just spent $400 on it at an auction!" her mom said, disappointment in her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry mom!" Candace said.

"Well, it's alright. As long as you didn't get hurt. Just be more careful next time!" she said, grabbing a broom to sweep up the glass.

Perry looked disappointed that she didn't get in trouble, and glared at his nemesis. "What the heck was that? She didn't get busted! What kind of an evil plan for revenge was that?" he said, frustration building up inside him. Doof just held up his paw, as if to tell him to wait. Perry frowned.

When the mess was cleaned up and Candace was marching back upstairs to her room, she finally noticed the platypuses. They were both standing on their hind legs looking at her. When Candace noticed, she gasped. "Wait! It was you two! You stupid animals are the ones that tripped me! That's it! I'm telling mom!" she ran back downstairs.

"MOM! MOM! COME QUICK! It was the stupid platypuses that caused this mess! Not me! Come! Hurry!" She said, trying to drag her mom over to the stairs. Linda glared at her.

"Candace, I am so disappointed in you! I forgave you for breaking my vase, and you're trying to blame it on these innocent little creatures?" she stopped to point at the two platypuses, who were in 'mindless animal mode' again.

"B-But they were standing up! I saw them! Phineas and Ferb must have done something to them to make them smarter and now they're out to get me!" she said frantically.

"Oh, now you're blaming all this on you innocent little brothers? They've been sitting in the backyard all morning! If you're not going to admit that you broke the vase, then you're grounded for the rest of the week!" she yelled at Candace.

"But…" Candace started, but Linda ordered her to her room and she did as she was told.

Perry stood there, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe that his nemesis's plan had actually worked! Candace had finally gotten what was coming to her! And it was all because of his nemesis. Perry couldn't believe it, but it actually felt sort of…good…to get revenge. It wasn't a bad feeling, and it was pretty sweet to do evil for once instead of being the goody two-shoes agent he was.

"Wow! That was…amazing!" he praised Doof, who just smiled smugly in return.

"Thanks! It actually feels good to do bad huh? Consider it your first lesson in evil!" he said to Perry, whose smile turned to a frown.

"Yeah, well let's consider it my last lesson. Don't expect me to be turning to the side of evil now. I've had my vengeance on Candace, and I'm done with evil now." Perry said sternly.

"Fine, suit yourself, but whether you'll admit or not, we do make a great team!" Doof said.

The platypuses high-fived each other at their teamwork, and Perry realized that it did feel good to be working with his nemesis instead of against him. It was a nice change.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the day went by pretty quick after that. Candace had to stay in her room till dinner, and she had to have both her cell phone and her computer confiscated for the rest of the week. Phineas and Ferb were working on their usual projects in the yard, but at the end of the day it didn't disappear like usual. So they spent the whole afternoon cleaning it up, and Candace was trapped in their room so she couldn't bust them for it. Doof and Perry had nothing else to do, so they just sat lazily around the house watching TV till dinner.

At dinner time, Phineas and Ferb were just about finished cleaning up the yard, and ran inside for dinner. Candace slumped down the stairs, a frustrated look on her face towards everyone, especially the platypuses. After everyone sat down and started eating, Linda noticed Candace wasn't touching her food.

"Candace," she said firmly to her daughter. "I know you're mad, but you have to eat something."

"Not unless you get rid of that other platypus!" she scowled. "He's evil! If it wasn't for him, Perry would be off to who knows where he goes everyday, and I wouldn't be bothered! Plus, I think he's training Perry to be evil! They were the ones that tripped me! Phineas and Ferb messed with them, I know they did! They made some sort of crazy gizmo thingy that made them be able to stand and walk like humans, so they could try to get me in trouble while they were doing their weirdo contraptions in the backyard! Come on mom, you have to believe me!" Candace said in a big jumbled rush.

Everyone in the room stared at her like she was a psycho.

"Wow." Perry said. "Even though I know a lot of that was true it still sounds crazy."

Linda and Lawrence exchanged worried glances.

"Evil platypuses are trying to get you in trouble." Linda said.

"Uh-huh!" Candace agreed.

"And Phineas and Ferb are controlling them."

"Uh-huh!"

"Candace, I think we need to put an air conditioner in your room, the heat is really starting to get to you." She said.

Candace wasn't surprised that her mom didn't believe her, but she started stammering out something else anyway.

"B-but they did! I swear! I saw them!" she explained.

"Come on big sis!" Phineas said. "If we tricked out our pets we would at least give them something cool, like laser-eye vision!"

He crouched down beside Perry and Doof and patted them both on the head. "Besides, how could these little guys be out to get you? They're so dang cute!" The platypuses got the best innocent helpless-little-animal looks they could, and looked up at Phineas with huge, pleading eyes. When the red head turned around, they smirked and winked up at Candace, who gasped in response. She started yelling something else to her mom about evil platypuses, but Linda eventually got her to calm down and sent her up to her room. Perry and Doof high-fived again.

After dinner, everyone went up to their rooms to get some sleep. Phineas and Ferb said their good-nights, and went to sleep. Perry and Doofenshmirtz weren't really tired, and they lied awake in Perry's platypus bed to talk for a while.

"Hey Doof," Perry said. "You remember when you first came here, and you didn't know I was really your nemesis?" he asked.

"Yeah," Doof answered. "What about it?"

"You remember what you said?" Perry asked. "About me being your best friend, and how you wished we could just forget about good and evil and just keep it that way?"

Doof blushed. "Y-Yeah…"

"Did you really mean that?" Perry asked.

"Maybe…" Doof said. "I never said we were best friends though!" he said quickly.

"Yeah ya did." Perry said.

"Well we're not!" Doof scolded.

"Then why were you so happy when you were sleeping in my bed the other night?"

"I wasn't! I never said I was happy!"

"You were purring."

Doof blushed. "Fine. I'll confess…you're my best friend. And as much as I hate to admit it, I…l…l...l…" He stammered.

"Love me?" Perry finished for him.

Doof nodded his head, and he felt his face getting hotter.

Perry got a gleam of delight in his eyes. "Aww, you really mean that?" he asked.

"Yeah." He said sincerely, his cheeks still bright red. "And I do kinda wish we could stop being enemies sometimes, I like you way better as a friend."

Perry's eyes sparked up some more. "Well, if you really want to…I really want to just be friends too. But I'll bet you wouldn't be willing to give up evil just for me." His smile turned to a frown as he said this.

Doof sighed. "You're more important to me than evil Perry." He said sincerely. "But my evil schemes are what brought us together in the first place. I don't think I should give it up just yet. But when I do, you're more then welcome to just be my friend, Perry."

Perry almost teared up with joy while listening to this. "We'll always be best friends, whether we're enemies or not!" Perry said.

Doof blushed again. Perry noticed this time.

"Why are you so embarrassed?" Perry asked. "Admitting you love me isn't a bad thing. I actually think it's sweet."

"I don't know. It's not very evil to love your nemesis…" Doof admitted.

"But that's what makes us special!" Perry said. "I'll bet there's no other enemies that have the weird, complicated frenemy relationship we have!" Perry said gleefully.

"Hmm, good point." Doof agreed. "It is cool how we can love and hate each other at the same time. But the love and hate used to balance each other out so we just had neutral feelings about each other. Now that we're crossing more into our 'best friends' side, it's a little awkward and embarrassing for me."

Perry didn't want Doof to feel bad about being friends. It made him feel bad. Perry wanted to prove to his nemesis that it is a good feeling to be friends sometimes. He briefly checked if Phineas and Ferb were awake, got up on his hind legs, and dragged Doof up with him. Perry gave his nemesis a big, comforting hug, but Doof didn't really feel awkward anymore. Instead, he hugged Perry back and started purring. They stayed in the embrace for a while before hopping back down on all fours.

"See?" Perry said. "Feel better now?"

"Yeah, I guess that helped. Why do I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside now?" Doof asked.

"It's the feeling you get after a hug!" Perry told him. "I love you Doofy." he suddenly said. "You're the best friend I could ask for."

Doof's cheeks turned redder still, but he gave into his feelings this time. "I…l…l…love you too Perry…" he finally said.

"Now was that so hard to admit?" Perry asked, a smug look on his face. "Consider that your first lesson in good!" he said before laying his head on his paws and shutting his eyes.

Doof did feel a lot better. It was nice to admit that, for some reason. The evil scientist put his head on his paws too, and drifted off peacefully.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Phineas and Ferb woke up and looked at the platypuses. They were snuggled up next to each other, their warm velvety soft fur comforting one another. When they woke up and noticed, they didn't really mind the close contact, and didn't flinch away this time. Perry and Doof were getting a lot more comfortable around each other, and were acting more like friends then ever.

Doof yawned and looked at his nemesis. "Morning Perry." He said groggily.

Perry said good morning back, and they gradually got up and stretched. Phineas and Ferb were staring at them, and it was beginning to make Doofenshmirtz a little uncomfortable.

"Hey Perry…" he said nervously. "Why are they staring at us…"

"Because, when we're talking, all they hear is 'ggggggggg'. And I rarely talked before, so it must be weird for me to be chattering so often." Perry explained.

Phineas scooped both platypuses in his arms, and placed them on his bed with him. "You know, you two talk to each other a lot for animals that don't do much. I'd do anything to find out what's on your minds."

Phineas got his signature 'I know what we're gonna do today' look, and turned to Ferb. "Hey Ferb! Wouldn't it be cool if we made a machine that could read minds? Than we could finally know what our pets are thinking! I know we already tried an animal translator on Perry, but this is different, since it reads minds. Maybe we can even find out where he goes everyday!"

Phineas had a gleam in his eye as he explained his brilliant idea to his brother, who just stared at him and nodded as usual. Eventually, they went eagerly downstairs for breakfast, leaving the platypuses alone on Phineas's bed. Perry looked extremely worried all of a sudden.

"Uh-oh…" he said. "Not good."

"What?" Doof asked.

"Phineas and Ferb are making a device to read our minds! They could find out I'm a secret agent! I can't let that happen!" he said panicky.

"That may be a problem for you, but not for me." Doof said lazily, laying his head back down in an effort to get more sleep.

"Yeah, it is. If they read your mind, they could find out that you're really an evil scientist and we'll both be in big trouble!" he said.

Doof picked his head up and suddenly looked more concerned, but then his expression relaxed again.

"They're just 10 year olds." Doof said. "Even if they did make some kind of mind-reading machine, it wouldn't even work."

"Trust me, it will. You don't know them, they can build absolutely anything!" Perry said.

"Oh." Doof thought for a few minutes. "So, what's the plan to avoid them?"

"Well," Perry started. "On any normal day I would just wander off as usual and foil you schemes, and the thing they made would probably gone by the time I got back. But since you're here, it's usually your inventions that destroy their inventions, so waiting for it to disappear is out…We'll have to destroy it ourselves!" Perry said.

"Alright…" Doof said sleepily.

They both walked out of the bed room, and went down for breakfast with the rest of the family. After that, Phineas and Ferb went outside to work on their mind-reader, and Candace unwillingly trudged up to her room, where she would be confined for the week. Perry and Doof tried to think up a plan that would destroy the mind-reader Phineas and Ferb were building, without revealing either of their identities.

***

"It's finished!" Phineas announced.

Phineas and Ferb had just finished with their mind-reading machine, which is a pretty amazing feat for 2 ten-year-olds, even though it took them less than half an hour. It was pretty much two little micro-chip sized helmets, which had little speakers on the top to project what ever they were thinking. It was a little on the small side compared to the other astoundingly huge accomplishments they had made this summer, but they were sure to work.

Just then, Isabella came over at her usual timing.

"Hey Phineas! What'cha doing?" she said in her high pitched voice.

"Hi Isabella!" Phineas greeted her. "We just finished making a device that can read Perry's mind! So we can finally see what he's thinking and saying about us!"

"Didn't you already make one of those?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, but this is different. That one we made was and animal translator, this just reads minds." Phineas said, and put one on Isabella's head to show her.

_"Wow, it's really small!"_ Isabella thought, and was caught by surprise when she heard her self talking, even though she had only thought that!

"Cool! It works!" Phineas declared.

_"Wow! Phineas! This is amazing! You've outdone your self again…"_ Isabella thought, and followed with a dreamy sigh. She quickly looked humiliated when she realized everyone could hear her thoughts. She ripped the mini-helmet off her head and handed it to Phineas.

Then she noticed the other little helmet. "Hey Phineas, why'd you guys make two?" she asked.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you! We got a new platypus! That's why we built this in the first place, we wanted to see what he and Perry were saying to each other!" Phineas said, and then started looking around the yard for their pets.

"Hey, where's Perry and Doofy?"

***

Meanwhile, the two platypuses were in the front yard, and Perry was giving Doof some instructions.

"OK, we need to destroy those two helmets. I'll need you to go out there and distract the kids, while I sneak over and destroy the mind-reading helmets. If anything happens, just act like a mindless animal. That always works. OK?"

Perry was going over the details of their plan, but Doofenshmirtz wasn't really focused. Instead of listening, he seemed fascinated by a little butterfly that was circling around his head, and he was following it around the yard when Perry got his attention.

"Um, HELLO?" Perry yelled. "Am I talking to myself over here? Can you please stay focused on the plan?"

Doof snapped out of it and let the butterfly fly away.

"Oh, sorry Perry. The mindless animal instincts were kicking in for a minute there." Doof admitted.

Perry sighed. If Doof was this stupid now, then he would have no problem acting like a mindless platypus later. But now he needed to listen, cause both their identities were at stake, and he was concentrating on butterflies!

"OK, Doof. The plan. You. Distraction. Remember?" he said, getting irritated.

"Oh, right." Doof said. "Hey, wait a second. Why do I have to be the stupid distraction?"

"Because you are, alright?" Perry shouted, and Doof shut up about it.

Both platypuses cautiously made their way toward the backyard.

***

Meanwhile, Candace was in her room, getting more psychotic by the second.

She was doodling little pictures of Perry and Doofy standing on their hind legs, which she had witnessed just a couple days ago herself.

"GGGRRR! I know those stupid platypuses can walk! I can prove it! I witnessed it! And now they're trying to get me stuck up here, so Phineas and Ferb can go on with out anyone to bust them! Yeah no one can bust little Phineas and Ferb now, huh? That's why they made the platypuses get me in trouble, huh? Well I have to bust them! Mom will find out some time! But she won't because the evidence will disappear! And no one will believe me! Just like always! No one ever believes crazy old Candace! I'm just a freak! Phineas and Ferb are just goody innocent little boys to all them, but they don't know the truth!"

She kept grumbling psychotically to herself like that for a while, until she looked out the window to see what Phineas and Ferb were doing. She saw their little mind-reading helmets, and came to her own conclusion of what they were up to.

"Oh my gosh! I was right! Phineas and Ferb are trying to brainwash their platypuses into getting me in trouble! That's what those helmets are for! Ha, you guys are sooooo busted!" She stopped to laugh crazily to herself again.

She automatically reached into her pocket to whip out her handy-dandy cell phone, but remembered that her mom had taken it away when she grounded her. She growled in anger, and planted her self on her bed, shoving her face in her pillow.

"UGH! I can't bust my brothers with out a cell phone to prove it!" she mumbled through the fabric. Then a sudden idea breached her mind.

She got up and looked out the window again, and was surprised to see the two platypuses—on their hind legs, walking like humans again—hiding in the bushes and edging their way toward Phineas and Ferb. She bolted over to her closet, and started rummaging through her junk for a few seconds, and then Candace pulled out a video camera.

"This is it! Video evidence! I can finally reveal that those platypuses are hiding something, and I can bust Phineas and Ferb at the same time!" She chortled madly to herself again, and she turned on the camera to start taping.

***

"OK, go over and distract the kids! I'll go destroy the helmets!" Perry ordered.

Doof saluted and ran off into the middle of the backyard, making sure to get Phineas's, Ferb's and Isabella's attention. Then he did something really stupid. He got up on his hind legs, and started dancing around the yard.

"Hey! Look at me! I'm a platypus and I can walk! Isn't this amazing?" he chattered, desperately trying to get their attention.

It worked, because the three kids immediately crowded around Doof.

"Oh my gosh, how is he doing that? You didn't tell me you guys taught him to walk like a human! That is so cool!" Isabella said.

"Uh…thanks…but we didn't teach him that, did we Ferb?" Phineas said.

Ferb shook his head.

All three exchanged glances, then all their gazes dropped on the platypus, who was standing in front of them, looking a little uneasy.

Perry was watching from across the yard, a few feet away from the helmets, a look of horror spread across his face. "Doof!" he shrieked to himself. "What the hell are you doing? You were supposed to keep them distracted, not reveal yourself! That's the whole reason we're doing all this, so they don't know we can do that!" Perry face-palmed himself, extremely aggravated now. "Stupid Doof! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! Looks like if I want something done, I gotta do it myself, as always…" he muttered under his breath.

Perry slowly made his way to the tiny mind-reading helmets, and thankfully Phineas and Ferb were still distracted. He was a few inches away from grabbing the helmets, when Phineas noticed.

"Hey look! Perry's standing on his hind legs too!" he screamed from across the yard.

Perry instinctively whipped off his fedora and went into mindless animal form, but it was too late. The kids had already seen. Phineas went over and picked up his pet, while Ferb held Doof. They set them down in the middle of the yard, keeping a close eye on them to make sure they didn't escape. They went over to get the mind-reading helmets, and came back over to put them on their seemingly-mindless pets' heads.

"OK, this is too weird." Phineas exclaimed. "Now we have to see what's on you guy's minds…" he said as he strapped on the helmets to the platypuses.

_"Uh-oh."_ Perry thought. _"Doof, what ever you do, don't think! I guess that wouldn't be too hard for you…"_

_"Hey! I heard that you know!"_ Doof thought angrily.

_"SHHH!"_ Perry thought frantically.

_"You SHHH!"_ Doof thought back.

_"Me SHHH? You're the one who got us into this mess! I told you to distract them, not reveal our secret!"_

_"Hey, don't yell at me!"_ Doof said.

_"Don't yell at you? It was all your fault! Maybe if you weren't such a complete idiot, we wouldn't be here! What kind of pathetic, retarded evil scientist can't follow such simple instructions?"_ Perry thought.

Doof was silent for a moment. He didn't know what to say.

_"T-that was kind of mean for you Perry!"_ he said.

Perry just growled, and Doof growled back. They both got up on their hind legs, and stood face to face, glaring into each other's eyes with pure, burning hatred in their stares.

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella could hear their entire argument, and were watching with puzzled looks on their faces. Both platypuses noticed, and relaxed their stances to look at them. Everyone just stared, waiting for someone to say something first. Phineas was the one who spoke.

"Perry…what secret are you talking about?" he asked.

_"N-nothing!"_ Perry thought quickly. _"I mean…uh…gggggggg!"_

"Perry, I'm not an idiot. That mindless animal act isn't going to work, now tell me what's going on." Phineas said.

_"Fine."_ Perry got on his hind legs and put his fedora back on over his helmet, then started explaining things in a jumbled mess. _"OK, so ever since you got me I've been trying to pretend to be a mindless platypus but I was actually a secret agent that worked for this agency called the O.W.C.A. that secretly used animals to stop evil and I have my own little secret base under ground, right under your house and I have my own nemesis that I fight everyday and his name is Dr. Doofenshmirtz but I could never tell you about my secret other life because it was supposed to be a secret since I would be fired if anyone found out so I just pretended to be a mindless platypus around you guys so you wouldn't find out but just the other day my nemesis who is actually this platypus right here showed up and he had turned himself into a platypus by accident and he came here so he can learn how to be a platypus and therefore understand me better but he didn't realize that I was actually his nemesis since he only recognizes me with my hat on so I told him but he wanted to stay anyway so I let him stay for a week and today you guys said you were making some sort of thing to read our minds and we had to stop you otherwise you'd find out our secret that I'm an agent and he's my evil scientist nemesis so that's why we were standing on our hind legs but he apparently screwed it up so now you guys know my secret and I'm probably gonna get fired for this so are you all happy now?"_

Everyone just stared at him in amazement, but Phineas seemed to understand.

"I, I'm so sorry Perry. We didn't know it was supposed to be a secret, can you ever forgive us? Gosh, we must be the worst owners ever…" Phineas said, apparently mad at himself.

Perry was really annoyed right now, and about ready to crack under pressure, but he didn't want Phineas to take the blame for it. It was his own fault for not being careful enough.

_"No Phineas."_ Perry thought. _"It's my fault. I was the one who wasn't careful enough, that's why you found out. It wasn't your fault either, Doof. I'm really sorry I yelled at you…"_ Perry thought, hiding his head in shame.

A few tears trickled down Perry's cheek. Everyone suddenly felt sorry for Perry, and everyone tried to comfort him at once. It took a while, but they finally got the platypus to calm down.

"OK, now if you don't mind me asking, I have one more question." Phineas said. "If Dr. Doofenshmirtz is your sworn enemy, why were you two acting like best friends the whole time he was here?"

Doof and Perry exchanged glances, making a silent decision of what to tell them. Doof spoke first.

_"We have a…complicated relationship."_ He started. _"We are enemies…and we fight everyday, and he destroys my evil schemes everyday, but we've kind of grown a more complex bond then that over the years. Perry is actually my best friend. Well, half the time anyway. We're half friends, half enemies…"_

"You're frenemies." Ferb said.

"OMG! That is sooooooo adorable!" Isabella squealed. "I've never heard of such a cute relationship before!"

"You should have seen them sleeping in Perry's little platypus bed!" Phineas said. "They were just so cute curled up next to each other like that!"

Perry and Doof's cheeks turned bright red. This was really humiliating for them. They didn't mind acting like best friends in front of each other anymore, but in front of other people it was just plain embarrassing! Perry pulled his fedora over his eyes to hide his shameful expression, and Doof looked down at his webbed feet. When the kids noticed how embarrassed they were, they stopped laughing and went over to comfort them.

"Oh, it's alright guys! We didn't mean to make fun of you!" Isabella apologized.

"Yeah!" Phineas agreed. "There's nothing wrong with being best friends! So what if all the other little agents and the other evil scientists are just out to hate each other, it just makes you're relationship more special!"

Doof and Perry didn't stop blushing, but they felt better now. Doof thought it sounded just like Perry's speech he had given him earlier, and it made him feel just as good as when Perry had told him the same thing the other night.

_"Thanks…that makes us feel a little better I guess…"_ Perry said, still blushing.

Doof didn't look up, and he was holding his head in shame.

_"Doof, come on, you admitted you loved me earlier…"_ Perry started.

_"Ugh, it's not that!"_ Doof said, and everyone realized that he was actually holding his head in agony rather than embarrassment.

_"D-Doof? What's wrong?"_ Perry asked, immediately darting to his nemesis's side.

Doof suddenly dropped to his knees, and continued to hold his head. _"I don't know, I don't feel so good all of a sudden!"_

_"You don't look so good either!"_ Perry said with concern in his voice.

Perry dropped down beside him, and put a shaky hand on his forehead. It felt boiling hot. Perry got a worried expression on his face. Everyone else was crowding around Doof too now. Then suddenly, Doofenshmirtz fell over, and blacked out.


	5. Chapter 5

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were sitting in the grass, huddled around the two platypuses. Doofenshmirtz was only getting worse, and Perry was getting more worried. Doof wasn't unconscious any more, but he was still in total pain. He was sitting upright, rubbing his head in pure agony. His fur was looking paler, and the dark circles under his eyes were deeper, making him look more restless than ever. His eyes were squinted shut, and he had a tortured expression on his face, tears of suffering in his eyes. Perry was right beside him, staring at him with deep concern, and it looked almost as if he was suffering his nemesis's pain, since he wore the same agonized expression on his face.

"What's wrong? How do you feel?" Perry asked.

Doof moaned. "Like someone ran over my head with a truck!" he said.

"What's happening to him?" Isabella asked worryingly.

_"I'm not sure, but I think it may be some sort of side affect from being turned into a platypus."_ Perry thought.

"Should we bring him to the hospital?" Phineas suggested.

Perry shook his head. _"No, that wouldn't help. I need to get him back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. so I can reverse the inator and turn him back into a human again!"_

Just then, Candace ran out of the house and into the yard. She had been video taping the whole thing, but she hadn't heard Perry's explanation of him being and agent from upstairs, and she didn't know what was going on with Doof either. All she cared about was she had her proof that the platypuses were more than they seemed, and proof that she wasn't crazy. Well, not totally crazy, anyway.

"Phineas! You are so busted! I video taped everything! This is proof that those platypuses can do a lot more than you think! HA!" She laughed psychotically to herself.

Candace's screaming made Doof's head throb in pain, and he covered his ears to block out all the noise that was worsening his already terrible head ache. Perry's eyes widened, and he flinched at the sight of his friend's pain. He turned around to give Candace a quick death glare, then turned his attention back to Doof. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella glared at Candace too, and they told her to shush.

"Candace! We know they can walk and stuff, that's old news." Phineas said in an angry but hushed voice. "We're kinda dealing with a bigger problem right now!"

Candace looked at the platypuses, and realized that Doof was really hurt. Then she turned back to her brothers with a scornful look on her face.

"WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO HIM?" she screamed, making Doof double over in agony.

_"Candace! Seriously! Can you shut your mouth for just one minute?"_ Perry scolded her.

Candace gasped. "Wait, you can talk too? What have you guys done to those platypuses? That's it! I'm getting mom!" She said, but tried to be quieter this time. She was about to march out of the yard when Phineas caught her by the arm.

"Candace, let me explain." He said calmly.

He got Candace to sit down, and he explained everything that happened, from what Perry said, to the situation they were trying to deal with right then. When he was finally finished, Candace was puzzled.

"So you mean to tell me that Perry is a secret agent?" Candace asked.

"Yep." Phineas said.

"And he goes off everyday to fight his nemesis while working for this secret agency made entirely of animals?"

"Yep."

"And Doofy is actually his nemesis who turned himself into a platypus and has been living here with us to see what life for Perry was like?"

"Yep."

"And you guys made a micro-chip helmet thingy so that we can understand them as long as they wear them on their heads?"

"Yep."

"And now Doofenshmirtz is hurt for some reason and Perry is trying to help him because they're actually secret best friends?"

"Yep."

Candace finally understood, but she was still taken aback by all this sudden info. She instantly forgot about busting her brothers, and put the video camera down. She walked over to Perry and Doof, and sat down next to them. She felt really bad for Doofenshmirtz, who was looking worse and worse every minute.

Candace carefully and cautiously lifted her hand and put it on the suffering platypus's head. Perry was wary for a moment, but let her feel his flaming hot fore head.

"Wow, you really aren't doing so well, huh?" she said, looking sympathetically down at him. Then she turned to Perry.

"Perry, I'm so sorry if I ever treated you like a mindless idiotic smelly freak before. I guess I really shouldn't judge a book by its cover…" she said sincerely.

_"Thank you."_ Perry thought. _"But I have more concerning issues than that right now."_ He said, turning his attention back to his dying nemesis.

Everyone's attention was re-focused on Doof.

"We can help you get him back to his apartment so you can save him Perry!" Phineas said.

Perry shook his head. _"You guys have gone through enough trouble today. I know someone else who can help."_

Perry headed towards one of the secret passages leading to his secret underground base. Before jumping down the chute, he turned to Phineas and Ferb and told them to watch Doof for him. Then he held onto his hat and slid down the chute towards his boss.

***

When Perry landed in his chair and turned on the screen, he saw the very irritated face of Major Monogram staring down at him. Perry tensed up, and readied himself for the worst.

"Agent P! I am extremely disappointed in you! Do you realize how many vital rules of the agency you have broken today!" he yelled.

_"Yeah, I know, I screwed up, but you have to listen right now!"_ he thought frantically.

"Do you realize that I am trying to run a secret agency here? Not only have you blown your cover, but now you can talk as well! There's a reason I chose animals for agents you know!" he continued to yell.

_"Yeah, I know, but Doofenshmirtz is…" _

"And don't even get me started on Doofenshmirtz!" he said, cutting Perry off. "Do you know the dangers you're putting yourself, your family, and the agency in while you're letting him stay at your house? It could have been a trap for all you know! I can't even begin to think of the consequences you'll have to face for that!"

_"MAJOR MONOGRAM! SHUT UP!"_ Perry suddenly yelled to get his attention.

Major Monogram was shocked. Perry had never talked back to him like that before.

_"OK, I know I screwed up big time! I know the danger I put the agency in! But it was for a good cause, and a lot more important one than your need for secrecy! Doofenshmirtz is dying right now! And I need you to forget about the agency for one moment of your life and help me save him!"_ Perry scolded him, his face turning red with rage.

"Agent P! This is a more important matter than your nemesis!" he said.

_"You're just not getting this through your thick skull, are you? FYI, he's not my nemesis! He's my best friend and I couldn't stand to let anything happen to him!"_ Perry said through tears. _"And if you think that you're stupid agency is more important than his life, then I don't want to work for you anymore! I QUIT!"_

"You can't quit!" he yelled, but Perry was already heading for the tube that leads back to his backyard. "YOU'RE FIRED! FOR BREAKING THE PRECIOUS RULES OF OUR AGENCY!" he screamed through the monitor.

_"You can take your rules and shove it!"_ Perry said, and on that happy note, he flew back up the tube to his backyard, leaving his former boss staring at an empty room.

***

Back in their backyard, Phineas and Ferb were waiting for Perry to return. Isabella was holding Doof in her arms, but he was still writhing in pain. Suddenly, Perry came back up from his base, his eyes welling up with tears. Phineas went to greet him.

"That didn't go too well, huh?" he said.

_"Oh, you heard? Was I yelling that loud?"_ Perry asked.

Phineas nodded his head. Perry sighed.

_"I guess I'll need your help after all, Phineas. You think you can make some sort of machine that can transport me to D.E.I.?"_ Perry asked.

"I'm way ahead of ya, boy! We already made one while you were gone!" Phineas said, pointing to this platform on the ground.

Perry smiled. He knew he could count on his owners to help. Isabella gently placed Doof down on the platform, and Perry got on as well. Phineas held the remote, and punched in the address of where he wanted to send them.

"Best of luck, Perry. We'll be here hoping for you!" Phineas said, and Perry responded with a tip of his hat.

Then Phineas pressed a button on his remote, and just like that Perry and Doofenshmirtz vanished in to thin air.

***

_~ DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPERATEEEEEEED ~_

Perry and Doof reappeared outside his building. Perry tried to drag his nemesis inside, but he wouldn't budge, so Perry had to pick him up and carry him inside.

He walked in the big purple building and went straight to the elevator, but there was an 'Out of Order' sign on it. _Great._ Perry thought. _Of all days for the elevator to not be working._ Perry trudged over to the stairs and started climbing. At first, he walked up hurriedly, but soon the pressure of carrying his own weight slowed him down, and it was going to take a while to reach the top.

Doofenshmirtz looked way too tired to move, or even talk, but he tried to find his voice anyway.

"It's really weird for you to be carrying me you know." He said weakly.

Perry couldn't help smiling. Then Doof's face turned serious.

"I-I can't believe you gave up your job as an agent to save me…" he said.

Perry tensed up. "Oh, yeah. You heard that too, huh?"

Doof nodded.

"Don't worry about it. You're condition is serious, I can probably patch things up with Major Monogram later, but you need help now. Besides, you're a lot more important to me then being an agent." Perry said.

Doof smiled this time. "Perry, I promise if I make it through this, I'll give up evil. Just for you." He said.

"You don't have to do that!" Perry said quickly.

"It's the least I could do for you, after you gave up your life's dream just to save me." Doof said, then suddenly had a sharp flash of pain and clutched his head.

Perry sighed. "Try not to talk too much. You're hurting your self."

After a few minutes, they finally reached the top of the never-ending stairs. Perry set Doof down and pulled out the key to his apartment, and carried his nemesis inside.

Doof was getting worse by the second. His breathing was really uneven, and it was a miracle he was breathing at all. Perry set him down in front of his inator, and ran over to the control box. He hit the reverse switch and aimed. It seemed like his nemesis was breathing his last breath when Perry fired.


	6. Chapter 6

When Doof woke up, he felt…different. His head didn't hurt at all anymore, and that was a good thing. Perry walked over to see if he was alright. Doof looked down at him. Wait…down? Why was Perry so much smaller to him now? He got up and ran to the nearest mirror. Doofenshmirtz was shocked by what he saw. It was him…but he was human again! He couldn't believe it. He stood there, staring at his reflection for a few moments. Perry was astonished to realize that his nemesis was crying!

"Ggggggggg?"

Doof looked down at Perry, and cried more.

"Oh Perry!" the distressed doctor said, dropping down to his knees. "I'm a stupid, hideous human again! I really enjoyed being a platypus, like you. Now I have to be a stupid failing evil scientist again!" he said between sobs.

"Ggggggggg…" Perry chattered again.

"Oh, right. I can't understand you anymore. I'm really going to miss that…" Doof said with a sigh.

Perry reached into his pocket and took out the mini mind-reading helmet, and he planted it on his head under his fedora so Doof could understand him.

_"Why are you sad?"_ he asked his nemesis. _"I had to turn you back to a human to keep you alive. I'm sorry about that. Truthfully, I liked you better as a platypus too, but I still love you whether you're a human or not."_ Perry said, tears glistening in his eyes now too.

Doof picked Perry up in his arms and hugged him close to his chest, and Perry hugged him back. Perry was purring, and it surprised Doof that he wasn't purring as well. Then he remembered he wasn't a platypus anymore. Having to be a human again would take him some getting used to.

After they broke their hug, Doofenshmirtz smirked.

"It was a lot sweeter hugging you when we were the same size you know." He said, which made Perry grin too.

***

The next day, Perry, Doofenshmirtz, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Isabella were all in Perry's base underground. Major Monogram and Carl had fired up the memory eraser, and the kids were saying their goodbyes to their new friends before having them wiped from their memories forever.

"Goodbye Perry." Phineas said. "I'll always miss you as a secret agent, even though you are a great pet."

"Yeah." Candace said. "I just hope I'll at least remember not to treat you so terrible anymore."

_"Thanks guys!"_ Perry thought. (he still had the mind-projecting helmet on) _"I'll miss being an agent around you. And thanks for helping me."_

Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Isabella all gave Perry a big hug at once, and were about to get their memories wiped when Phineas remembered something.

"Oh yeah! I forgot about you Doofenshmirtz!" he said, and they all went over and gave him a big hug too.

Doof was annoyed at first, but then smiled and hugged the kids back.

"Even though we only really knew you as our pet, you must be a nice guy to have Perry as your best friend!" Phineas said.

"Thanks." Doof said. "I'll really miss you guys too. Oh, and do you think you can get any better tasting platypus food for Perry here?" he said, winking at Perry.

Phineas laughed. "We'll try. Goodbye!" he said, and all four of them turned to Major Monogram, who placed a helmet on each of them and began erasing their minds.

"Agent P," Major Monogram called the platypus to attention. "If I could have a word with you…"

Perry reluctantly walked over, arms crossed. He was still a little mad at his boss for not caring about anything but his stupid agency, but he listened anyway.

"Agent P, I'm so sorry for what I said. I realize now that this isn't just a job to you, it's your life. I gave you your host family and nemesis as mere assignments, and I thought that was all you ever thought of them as. But now I realize the true bonds that you've made with them, and the bonds they've made with you. If I ever knew you loved them the way you do, I wouldn't have been so mad that you blew your cover, because now I see that you only did it to save a friend. But I guess I was being too hard on you, and the other agents. The damage is done, and I should punish you for this, but I just can't find it in my heart to split up the greatest relationship between enemies I've ever seen. So I guess I'll let it slide. I'm so sorry Perry. Will you ever forgive me, and come back to the agency?"

Perry was touched by his boss's words. Finally, he understood the way Perry felt about his family and his nemesis. He couldn't say no. Perry held out his hand, and Major Monogram shook it.

"Welcome back Agent P!" he said gleefully.

_"Wow, this is boring. What is this, a soap opera now? Ugh, I should have just stayed home…"_

Perry and Monogram turned to Doof, who was standing across the room from them. After he realized he was being stared at, he blushed.

"Ha, ha, oops." The doctor said. "I forgot to take the mind reading helmet off…" he said, reaching into his hair and pulling out the little helmet.

Monogram went over to help Carl with erasing the minds of the kids, and Perry walked over to his nemesis.

"So, what's going to happen with us now?" Doof asked. "Are we friends, or enemies, or what?"

Perry shrugged. _"What do you want us to be Doof?"_ he asked.

Doofenshmirtz thought for a minute. What did he want them to be? He loved being his nemesis, but this whole incident had got him to find his true feelings for Perry. Being his friend was great. It cleared up all the complicated frenemy stuff, plus it made him happier then when he was fighting Perry. It's almost like they were always meant to love rather than hate each other. Nothing made Doof happier then spending time with him, and he really was willing to give up evil for his new-found friend. But being enemies was what held their relationship together for so long. Should they really just drop all their negative feelings so suddenly? Would it affect the way they saw each other as friends? Doofenshmirtz pondered for a moment, then knelt beside Perry.

"Perry, I love both sides of our relationship. I could never choose between being your friend or your enemy. I know we both enjoy being friends a lot more, but it would break the special bond we have. I think we should keep our frenemy relationship exactly the same. What do you think?" Doof said, looking deep into Perry's big brown eyes.

_"I couldn't agree more!"_ Perry said, jumping into his nemesis's arms and giving him the most meaningful hug he had ever give anyone.

"AAAWWW!"

Perry and Doof stopped hugging to see Carl staring at them adoringly.

"Do you mind?" Doof said, obviously annoyed.

Carl blushed. "Sorry!" he said quickly, and went back to helping Major Monogram.

"Geez, why does everybody think that's so 'adorable'?" Doof said. "We're just hugging!"

Perry laughed. He knew everything was going to go back to normal.

***

After everything happened, everything did go back to normal for Perry. Better than normal. Phineas and Ferb went on with their amazing projects as normal, and Candace went back to trying to bust them as normal. Perry didn't want them to forget everything that had happened, so he had told Monogram and Carl to leave in the parts about 'Doofy'. He scribbled down a note saying that Doofy's owner had taken him back so they didn't get worried thinking he ran away or anything.

As for Doofenshmirtz and Perry, they now had a stronger 'best friends' bond then ever. But Perry did have to get used to Doof not being there at the Flynn Fletcher house anymore. He was actually starting to like his nemesis hanging out with him, and sleeping in his bed at night. But the platypus still slept great every night, knowing that his life couldn't get any greater if he wanted it to.

THE END

* * *

Doofenshmirtz: "Hey! Wait a second! This can't be the ending already! I got turned into a platypus, yet I still didn't get a cool theme song like Perry!"

Doo-bee-doo-bee Doo-bah  
Doo-bee-doo-bee Doo-bah

Doo-bee-doo-bee Doo-bah  
Doo-bee-doo-bee Doo-bah

He's a middle aged mammal,  
A Perry lovin' platypus of evil

He makes failing inators,  
That Perry destroys every day-ay-ay!

Even though he lacks mad skill,  
He's got a beaver tail and a bill

And he drives his nemesis crazy, when ever he hears him say:  
"Curse you Perry the Platypus!"

He's Doofy!  
Doofy the Platypus!

He's Doofy!  
Dr. D!

Doofenshmirtz: "Okay, that's better. Hey, what do you mean by 'failing inators'?"


End file.
